You don't have to figure this out in the right order.

Common Ground is a plain-language guide for parents and guardians of autistic children — what autism is, what the research actually shows, what helps day to day, and how to find the services your state owes your family.

Something feels differentYou've noticed things but nobody has said the word yet. Start with what autism is and how evaluation works. We just got a diagnosisThe first ninety days, in order. What to do this week, this month, and what can wait. I need services and moneyEarly intervention, IEPs, Medicaid waivers, respite — and who to call in your state. Today was hardMeltdowns, sleep, food, transitions. Practical things that lower the temperature at home.

Five things worth knowing on day one

Your child is the same child

A diagnosis doesn't change who your kid is. It changes what you know about how they experience the world, and it unlocks doors — school services, insurance coverage, state programs — that were closed without it.

You don't need the diagnosis to start

Early intervention for children under three doesn't require an autism diagnosis, and in every state you can refer your own child without a doctor's note. Waiting for an evaluation appointment is not a reason to wait for help.

Put your name on lists early

Most state Medicaid waiver programs have waiting lists measured in years. Getting on the list costs nothing and you can decline services later. This is the single most common regret parents report.

Write everything down

Requests to schools must be in writing to start legal timelines. Start a folder — evaluations, IEPs, letters, denial notices, doctor's notes. You will need it more than once.

Autistic adults are a resource

Autistic adults were autistic children. Their accounts of what helped and what hurt are some of the most useful information you will get, and often free.

Your own footing matters

Caregiver burnout is real and common. Respite care exists, it's often state-funded, and using it is not a failure. Look for it before you're desperate.

If you are worried right now

Urgent help

988 — call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7, for mental health crises of any kind, including for caregivers. Some areas can dispatch a mobile crisis team instead of police.

911 — if your child is missing. Say the words "autistic and may not respond to their name," and mention water: wandering toward water is the leading cause of death after elopement. Ask your local department whether they keep a voluntary registry for residents with disabilities.

If a crisis feels close for you as a caregiver, talking to your own doctor or a counselor is a reasonable next step, and one a lot of parents in this position take.

Both lines offer interpreters. You can say the name of your language in English and wait to be connected.